| so.. |
[19 Oct 2009|10:30am] |
i've had this dream of living in an old barn in the countryside by the coast in california somewhere. i've had this dream for a while. come spring, i'm hoping to make this happen. the dream looks a lot like this:
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| oh oh oh |
[05 Oct 2009|06:43pm] |
forgot to mention -
my past three months have been awesome.
i squatted a stump and a shack in arcata.
swam naked in the mad river in kneeland.
picked chilies, huckleberries and strawberries and meditated with the sun, moon and stars.
hitched up and down the coast a couple of times.
fell in love all over again.
kissed somebody very sweet and new.
and now i'm getting ready to head back to portland for a week.
and then to san francisco.
might have another job for a month.
but if not - then dia de los muertos in los angeles bitches!
see you all soon.
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| well |
[22 Sep 2009|02:56pm] |
so i must be fucking up along the way somewhere, putting my paws on people that are not for me. these past two months i have spent off and on in arcata, off and on with a super nice boy that i had met.
last weekend i saw him we ended everything on such a high note, it was so universally lovely and enlightening. i went to go work on a farm, came back three days later and now he does not want to see me in that way anymore. at first he suggested we be friends, but then later he let me know that he would like nothing to do with me. at all. that he would like to close the door and be out of each others worlds completely.
i understand how my actions, assumptions and expections contributed to this decision, but i cannot help but feel sorrowful.
funny enough, i received a phone call just as this boy was walking away, waving goodbye.
i'm going back to the farm today, for several weeks. it's a chili farm an hour east of arcata in the middle of the hills. completely surrounded by woods and hiking access to the mad river which you can swim in. i guess i get to go there and think about what i have been focusing on, and what i should be focusing on next.
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| slept |
[02 Sep 2009|03:35pm] |
slept in the woods in arcata, met some nice folks.
went back to bellingham.
i'll be leaving again this weekend, heading south, again.
patterns, patterns, patterns that we repeat.
i didn't get to swim in the ocean. back to portland, and then back to california, here i come.
this winter is going to be a hot one.
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| so shit didn't work out |
[12 Jul 2009|02:37pm] |
and from southern california i went to portland to meet my lover, total disaster. he left me in portland and i followed him to bellingham, i cornered him and he told me to leave. why? because he's afraid i will leave him, he doesn't want to start it up with me again. i'm going back through portland and then to northern cal, just so i can swim in the ocean and hang out in the trees and sleep a good sleep and dream a good dream.
redwoods and ocean, here i come.
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